Thought I’d post an update to the secretary desk. The first picture is from three days ago. Not pretty, but sanded within and inch of it’s life with the belt sander. The bottom one is what it looks like as of yesterday. Better, right? I’m finally getting close to the finish line. Fixing the top, wet sanding the whole thing and adding a wax finish, putting the glass doors and drop leaf back on before adding all the hardware… so close and yet so far. That’s okay. It’s still July. I’ll keep my eyes down, choose one task to do at a time, and attack it until it’s finished. This is how I usually conquer something that causes me great anxiety. Doesn’t everybody? It works. Mostly. If you’ve got a better method that doesn’t involve drinking full bottles of whiskey I’m all ears. KP asked me what I’ll do with it when I’m finished. Really good question. When I started it, I imagined that it would be the one familiar item in my apartment. Then I thought: Wait, I’m the one familiar thing in the apartment. Everything else will be foreign, no matter how long I’ve had it. It will be as new as the space. Repurposed. Re-placed. Maybe renewed? Then I realized under that definition even I will be foreign and unknown in that space… the room started to spin a little. I pushed it off and stopped wondering what I’d do with the desk after that.
Its original purpose was to be, well, a desk. For writing. So I think that’s what it will be again. I’ve taken a little hiatus these last few weeks. The book I’ve been reworking, Almost There, is about a girl named Lenie (Eleanor) who deals with her guilt through penance. She’s urged to pay for her mistake by Gretchen (Look up Die Sterntaler. Gretchen’s the main character) who appears in the girl’s dreams and hallucinations. It doesn’t end well for Lenie, but her debt is paid and her brother’s life is saved. I love the ending, that’s what’s troubling me, I guess. Another trusted friend told me that this isn’t the best ending for a Young Adult novel given that girls that age are so impressionable.
That sucks. I won’t lie.
Loving something I’ve written isn’t easy. Having to let go of it – I’m sure you can guess. It’s set me back a bit. But soon I’ll do as I said before, I’ll put my head down, pick one chapter at a time to attack and change the story- for the better I hope. This is what I do. That’s how I do it. Change what I love. Change how I love it. Anyhow, I’ve given myself permission to put the book on hold until the desk is finished. Is it writer’s block? Is it me doing that thing again- waxing and waning? Couldn’t tell you. Well, this update has officially gone on too long. Keep your eyes peeled for the final product coming soon…